Kill it with Fire
by WifeysforLifey
Summary: Entirely silly fluff about what if Regina, former Evil Queen, were afraid of spiders. One shot. Swanqueen.


AN: Just a one shot drabble like something. While voting for the fabulous Swan Queen Week coming up in the next month one of the possible themes is 'What if'. It got me thinking about a particularly nasty encounter with an eight legged beast the thought sprang to my mind. What if Regina was afraid of spiders? :) Enjoy

* * *

The first thought that sprang through Emma's jumbled mind as her body launched up from the dead of sleep was that something was terribly, terribly wrong. With her heart pounding in her throat she listens again, certain that what woke her up was a scream.

A loud scream.

A very loud scream from the woman she loves.

The split second it took for Regina to let out the blood curtailing wail to the time Emma bolted up right was less then a minute, if that. The clattering coming from inside the bathroom is all the assurance Emma needs to be up and out of the bed moving towards the closed door with panic in her heart.

"Regina?! Regina!" Reaching her hand out to grab for the door knob it never makes contact, the door nearly pulling off the hinges with how roughly it is yanked open from the other side.

Emma's eyes widen in shock as she takes in the state of her girlfriend. Her girlfriend who _use_ to be the evil queen. Her girlfriend who took joy is making people miserable. Her girlfriend who took no nonsense from anything- herself included. Her girlfriend who was currently bounding into her arms sopping wet with shampoo suds still laced in her hair, naked, and genuinely terrified as she gazes back at the shower that still sprays on despite her absence.

"Uh, wha-.. Regina, what happened!?" Not needing any further invitation to wrap her slender arms around the woman, more so when she is so indisposed, but the panic she can plainly see written across her face takes away any joy she could get at teasing this gorgeous girl she calls her own. Glancing into the open door way of the bathroom but seeing nothing but steam billowing out of the shower once the warm spray has hit the cold, drafty, Maine air.

The hysteria in Regina's tone is strong and unmistakable as she further curls herself into the sheriff's arms, desperate to get as far back from the bathroom and subsequently the shower as she can while still soaking up the comforting touch from Emma. " _It's_ _ **IN**_ _there!_ It was in the shower with me! Emma, it was _**IN**_ the shower!"

With her wheels turning, Emma tries to figure out what exactly Regina is on about but with so few details she comes up blank. Stroking her hand along the smooth moisture slicked arm just beneath her palm, breathing out a comforting 'shhhh' that would normally get her a swift swat on the arm from the brunette. "Okay, babe, I am going to need a few more consents, maybe some vowels.. A noun would be good. _What_ as in the shower with you?"

Pink splotches begin to form along the former mayor's chest, neck and cheeks as she further upsets herself with just the thought of the eight legged beast that currently hides in the corner of her shower. The shower where she was just in. Groaning in pure displeasure at even having to say the words aloud. Bringing a hand up to press against her face, her finger tips just barely grazing over her hair line as she dawns her 'Emma is slow' tone. "A spider, there is a _spider_ \- _In. My. Shower_!"

Whatever Emma was preparing for that could have scared this hard ass woman in her arms it was most certainly not this.

Blinking her confusion as her mind struggles to take in that Regina Mills, her Regina, just came barreling stark naked out of the bathroom because _a spider_ , of all things, was in the shower with her. Barely containing the amusement from her tone as she presses her more. "A.. spider.."

"Yes! A spider!"

A small giggle slips free before she reigns it back in, popping her lips before she speaks, a grin curling up at their corners. "In the shower.. With you.. Was a spider…"

Regina's throaty growl of a sigh is all Emma has to go on to know that her amusement is not being well hidden. Pulling away from the blonde Regina scowls at her, being mindful to remain a good few paces away from the open door still- just on the off chance the thing magically grows in size and launches out of the bathroom to feast upon them. "YES! Aren't you going to _do_ something about it?!" Her arms curl protectively around herself the longer she stands there in nothing but what God gave her, goose bumps making their way across her freshly cleansed skin.

"About the spider.. That was in the shower.. With you… That you ran from… Naked" Her shoulders quiver once, then twice, and finally a chuckle bursts free that verges on a full on laugh but one fiery gaze from Regina is all it takes to turn it into a full on riot of a laugh. Holding her hand over her mouth, Emma tries to stop herself but it's just too priceless to not find hilarious. Her very own Madame Mayor is terrified of spiders. How could she not have known that until now?!

Throwing her arms out in clear agitation, "You are _INSUFFERABLE_ Ms. Swan!" Huffing out a surly breath she marches over to the bed they share, snatching her dressing gown from the end of the bed and shrugs into it, griping under her breath the entire time. Heading towards the door to leave Emma to her amusement that clearly is all based on her not-in-the-slightest-bit-irrational fear. So much for loving commitment!

"Ah Regina! No, I'm sorry! I won't laugh! I promise!" Even as she says it the laughter hangs on her every word, prancing along behind her lady love with a twinkle in her bright emerald eyes. Grabbing Regina by the wrist before she can exit their bedroom, pulling her back with a more serious gaze. "Hey, I promise. No more teasing- I'll go and bravely face this monster." Sniffling in a big breath that puffs out her chest in a way that is all for mockery.

"My beautiful damsel I shall avenge thee!" Winking teasingly at her girl before valiantly striding into the bathroom, making all kinds of exaggerated grunts and banging as she goes about finding the small, barely five pence sized spider that threatened her beloved.

Rolling her eyes Regina stands, arms folded petulantly across her chest, listening to the idiotic sounds of her girlfriend taking the piss out of her. "I should have known to never get involved with a Charming…"


End file.
